Opposite people attract. We hear that every time. It's also true that more conflict happens between the opposites. I always wondered why opposites attract (in most cases.) Here are some of my observations.
I will start with, what if alike people get attracted? Low conflicts, fewer surprises, easy estimations and predictions. But there is one major problem. They maximize the strengths and also maximize the weaknesses. If there is a threat and it's targeted at the weakness, they are shattered and broken.
Think of you and your friend are crossing a jungle and both are afraid of the dark. What happens when you both had to cross the jungle at night? The probability of that event happening these days is near zero but our ancestors had to do it. It's about survival.
When people with different traits and abilities can come together and start crossing the jungle, the probability of them crossing the jungle is much higher compared to people with the same traits and abilities. The strength of a person in a specific area is used when necessary, even though there is a person with a weakness in that specific area. It balances things from a zoom-out perspective. It moves as a whole and complete system. I think it has been encoded as a survival mechanism spreading across thousands of years of evolution.
The next question, if opposites attract, what binds them together given there is a high probability to break? And I think it's love. A phenomenon no one can explain but only can feel it. Same with the attraction. We cannot explain why we get attracted to a specific thing, specific people or specific traits? May be our brain knows how to find the opposite. If you think all your decisions are made consciously, then you are wrong.
Is love enough to get the whole system going? Of course not. Love should be followed by the truth. Both of them creates a high-trust environment. High-trust environments foster productivity and surplus in many different areas including inter-personal spaces. Those environments make room to play long-term games with long-term people without the fear of losing or breaking after a short time.
How to continue this cycle? It is with commitment.
Commitment to make sure the entire chain - attraction, love, truth, trust - is running optimally and willing to fix it when needed.
How to find someone with that commitment? Find out if they can say, "I am not leaving, no matter what."
I have not covered a lot of edges for the simplicity of the post. I may add in the coming days.